I know this isn’t the typical introduction to a blog. I guess. But as I was writing another piece, something happened and made me want to just get up and run. It is stupid, it is small, and to most people will not make any sense as to why it hurts so, damn, badly.
But it does. Maybe in time I can explain it. Maybe in time I’ll find I’m as crazy as he claims.
I love him so much, but I’m not sure why anymore. Is that horrible? He isn’t even remotely the person he was before…or I could go the other way, the way he tells me is true and that I should believe and that is…
IT WOULDN’T BE LIKE THIS IF I DID THIS OR DID NOT DO THAT!
After he woke up a few moments ago, I said this morning was, “You mean the world to me.”
I’ve gone from what I guess could be called a passionate person to … a shell of person, only fear.
I know this is so small and I haven’t shared much. Perhaps the next post will explain my situation a bit more… Perhaps not.
All I know is I was kinda on edge when he woke up this morning, but it quickly went from my daily normal which I could have got by with okay I guess, to, … tension, fear and a deep, sick feeling in my stomach.
And it is my fault this morning… It seems any time I try to do right…I do the exact opposite. It hurts so, so badly because I try so, so hard to make him feel loved and happy… But anything I try he breaks or tears apart… I truly hope this blog is the journey to a happier ending…